Sunset

The sun was setting, the sky was swirl of breath taking oranges reds and blues and the temperature began to drop.

They had built the biggest fire conceivable for everyone to gather round. It was a few minutes before it was fully alight, casting warm glows are dark shadows across their faces.

She sat down on the cold, wet sand pulling her knees closely into her chest with one arm while clutching a too-cheap lukewarm can of beer in the other. She watched as the fire spat tiny flecks of light in every direction. She stared into the middle distance at the picture in front of her; all those faces of people she knew and loved, some she didn't, began to blur as the tears filled her eyes.

She fought hard to keep them back. She was desperate not to draw attention to herself, but a couple of salty droplets managed to escape and rolled down her cheeks. She tucked her head into her knees, away from prying eyes.

As she looked up again she could see she was not the only one fighting back the tears. She watched as, people she considered to be 'stronger' than her swiped at there faces quickly hoping no one would catch them or casually blaming the smoke from the fire for their bloodshot eyes.

She could feel a strange sensation in the pit of her stomach. She was oddly comforted by other's pain. Not that she enjoyed it, more that she felt she was not alone. They shared it.

She stared at her grubby old shoes, now filled with the contents of the beach, that she would be trying to get rid of for weeks. They all did a lot of staring that day, mostly because no one had any idea what to say. They all exchanged glances with more meaning than words could ever hope to express.

She usually found silences incredibly uncomfortable but it was what she needed, But, old habits die hard and she could not help but fidget; wrinkling her toes in her sand filled shoes or tapping her nails against her beer can as if she were practicing scales on a piano.

As the night drew in and people drank more of their terrible beer, smiles began to creep back to their faces, bringing a hint of normality back to proceedings. She tried to play along as jokes were thrown across the fire. But, she could feel she had fallen short of the mark as her attempts at smiles looked more like pained grimaces and her thoughts were a million miles away.

She could tell the more perceptive among them started to notice her spirits hadn't picked up with the rest of them. She watched over the rim of glasses as the cogs turned in the her friend's mind whether to check on her or leave her be. He settled for an inquisitive glance in her direction with narrowed eyes and a raised eyebrow. She nodded and attempted another smile in acknowledgement of his considered efforts.

Satisfied with her response, he turned away, painted on his own smile and rejoined the crowd.

Unlike him, she did not have the wherewithal for keeping up appearances. She was exhausted, drained and using all her remaining energy to hold herself together.

For some reason she thought pulling her knees closer and closer to her chest would help.

She buried her head, she could not hold the tears in any longer.

That was when one of her friends sat beside her and wrapped his arms around her.

He did not say a word.

She turned and sobbed into his chest, mascara streamed down her cheeks and all over his t-shirt...of course it was white.

He pulled her closer

She felt him shaking, he was crying now too.

They stayed there for a while, holding each other tightly.

Almost as if they were scared of what might happen if they let go.